Adebayor is being taken to the Bridge. Not by James Brown though. Photograph: Sang Tan/AP
"It's magic if you come from Madrid, it's beautiful if you come from Barcelona, it's a vindication if you come from Valencia or Villarreal and it's lovely if you come from Liverpool."
John Motson there, rocking the Mic for the last time. It's sad, folks, but life - like Motty - goes on. And on. And on some more. No time for nostalgia as there are only 40 days until the start of the season. So while Spain has one "El of a Party" (Daily Mirror) involving Oles, sangria, Tapas, donkey-pushing, the building of human pyramids for no apparent reason and the flamboyant winding up of bulls, let's get mongering without further ado.
A cane-fingering, moustache-twiddling plan, unprecedented in its skulduggery, is being hatched by Peter Kenyon. The Chelsea chief executive is plotting the downfall of Manchester United and Arsenal. The signing of Robinho for £25m from Real Madrid will facilitate the move of You Know Who to the Bernabeu while the stick being poked into Arsenal's spokes comes in the Togolese shape of Emmanuel Adebayor and his £30m, £120,000 a week move to Stamford Bridge if you believe the papers which, if experience is anything to go by, you probably shouldn't.
Big bald Pete doesn't need to scupper Liverpool's plans as Rafa Benítez seems to be doing that all by himself. He wants Robbie Keane and is willing to hand over Peter Crouch and a bag of cash to get him.
Will a certain Aston Villa midfielder be there to welcome the Irishman? Well, according to the Daily Star, Martin O'Neill is "going to make Gareth Barry" sweat. Not by dressing him in a Velour tracksuit and locking him in a sauna but by sticking his fingers in his ears and going la-la-la-la-la every time Gareth mentions a transfer to Liverpool. Other newspapers reckon £18m should end the second-most tedious transfer saga of the summer.
Ooops, there are some Arsenal rumours that would be better placed next to the Adebayor speculation above but, due to a slapdash approach, have ended up here. The Gooners may swoop for Obafemi Martins following Newcastle United's realisation that they don't have enough pennies to keep him. But Arsène Wenger doesn't want to pay £15m for him as some of that money has got to be spent on Werder Bremen midfielder Amaury Bischoff who's only 21 and in the same mould as Mathieu Flamini.
Werder Bremen, meanwhile, are set to gazump Hull in their latest attempt to buy a player. Any player. Please. Bernard Mendy, the large French chap once seen hoofing balls towards the head of Kevin Davies at Bolton, is likely to snub the Tigers in favour of the German giants.*
Another giant*, Angers striker Guy Moussi, is off to Nottingham Forest where he'll be joined by Andy 'Andrew' Cole on £25,000 a week. Other stuff you may or may not want to know is that Norwich are giving FSV Mainz around £1m for Macedonian defender Nikole Noveski and Swansea are poised to sign Spanish stopper Albert Sorran from Espanyol for just £70,00.
Ole.
*may not actually be giants
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